Johnny Lawrence is by far the most chaotic and non-politically-correct hero of Cobra Kai, which makes his quotes among the best of the Netflix series.
Cobra Kai is going into its sixth and final season, and Johnny Lawrence has had a lot of great moments throughout the series. Johnny is certainly different from how he was in The Karate Kid, though he hasn't changed so much as to be unrecognizable. The character is still thoroughly convinced of the importance of being a badass—he's just less likely to hurt others on his quest to maintain that status. Ultimately, this can all be seen in Johnny's various quotes throughout the first seasons of Cobra Kai.
Back in The Karate Kid, Johnny Lawrence was a pretty big jerk. However, Cobra Kai has turned this perspective around. It has since been revealed that the top student of John Kreese's dojo had a much harder home life than it appeared, and his defeat to Daniel LaRusso had a significant impact on his life going forward. Johnny was far from his best self at the start of the Netflix series. However, with the help of his students, he's grown to be an even greater badass than in his teen years. Cobra Kai season 6 will surely contain even more terrific moments for Johnny, but in the meantime, we can reflect on some of his best quotes so far.
"Kicks Get Chicks.”
Cobra Kai revealed how Johnny had gained his confidence from karate, and he has passed on this same gift to his own students. This all started with Miguel in season 1, whom Johnny helped become a far more confident version of himself. He got that way by listening to Johnny's advice, which, though a little rough around the edges, was often true. Just as this quote from Cobra Kai season 1 says, this confidence is the best way to get a girlfriend (it certainly worked for Miguel).
"Makes Me Feel Like A Virgin Just Looking At You."
Nothing Johnny says is very PC, and he will say the most outrageous things to just about anyone. Though he has calmed down a little bit in later seasons of Cobra Kai, he still says things along the same lines as this season 1 quote. To Johnny, being a badass means kicking butt and getting lots of girls. Therefore, in his own opinion, looking like a virgin is the biggest insult that he can hurl. It's all part of his charm.
"Quiet!"
Though Johnny can be a pretty impatient and chaotic character, he has somehow managed to be a great teacher. This is seen in his Cobra Kai students, whom he successfully transformed with his unconventional methods. This comes in part from Johnny's complete disregard for his students' complaints. He will only put up with so much before he will crack down. This has been seen throughout Cobra Kai with the one word that stops his students in their tracks.
"A Coors Banquet For Me, And A Shirley Temple For The Lady."
Johnny might not have the most elegant of insults, but they certainly get the job done. Daniel is no longer his enemy—though the pair are sure to have a final rematch in Cobra Kai season 6—but they are always likely to regard each other with a certain level of competitiveness. Hurling insults at one another is among their favorite pastimes, and this is an area in which Johnny excels. Of course, Daniel wasn't too insulted at being called a lady, but the attack was still seen for what it was.
"Two Cobras In The Jungle - One Kills The Strongest Lion, The Other Kills A Crippled Monkey. Which Cobra Do You Want To Be?"
Cobra Kai season 1 set Johnny up to be the new Mr. Miyagi—just like the Karate Kid sensei, he took a teenager under his wing and taught him to stand up to the bullies. Of course, there isn't much more that Johnny and Mr. Miyagi have in common. However, the Cobra Kai alumnus still managed a moment of wisdom here and there, such as when he chastised Hawk and Miguel for taking advantage of their opponents' weaknesses. Ultimately, this quote really showed how far Johnny had come from his days fighting for John Kreese.
"It Doesn't Matter If You're A Loser, Or A Nerd, Or A Freak! All That Matters Is That You Become Badass!"
Though he may not like to admit it, Johnny teaches using many of John Kreese's methods. However, one way that the two Cobra Kai senseis differ is who they are willing to take under their wing, Kreese proved that he was only willing to accept students who looked the part. Johnny had no such prejudices. He welcomed anyone and everyone who wanted to learn karate. He didn't care if they were considered cool at school so long as they were willing to work to become something great.
"When You Came To Me You Were Softer Than A Baby's A**"
Things quickly got out of hand for Johnny at Cobra Kai. As he watched his students turn into jerks, he realized that some of the tenets of his school were profoundly flawed. Their confidence stretched out of control, and John Kreese came in to usurp Johnny's position as sensei. Of course, Johnny had a lot to say about this—and he was far from delicate about it.
"I Don’t Want To Screw Things Up With Miguel. Then Again, You’re Pretty Hot."
After all that Johnny had been through, Carmen was about the best thing that could have happened to him. She is the opposite of the Cobra Kai sensei in many ways—sweet, level-headed, and compassionate. This means that she is the perfect influence for Johnny. Of course, their relationship was difficult to navigate, considering both their connections with Miguel. Ultimately, Johnny followed his heart (and his eyes), and everything worked out.
"Quiet! Never! Can't! Those Are Just Words, They're Meaningless, It's Time To Get Out Of Bed And Do Something."
After Miguel was injured at the end of Cobra Kai season 2, many characters—including Miguel himself—had lost hope. However, Johnny, who held immense guilt over the situation, wouldn't take "quit" for an answer. In his own aggressive but oddly touching way, Miguel's sensei gave him a pep talk that got the blood pumping. Between both their work and dedication, Miguel had a remarkable (and somewhat unbelievable) recovery.
"They Strike First, We’ll Pre-Strike!"
All Johnny had ever known was "strike first," which made the adjustment when Kreese took over the dojo difficult. He and his remaining students established Eagle Fang Karate, and though they never had a dojo of their own, they managed to stand out against the other karate schools in the area. Still, Johnny's pupils (along with the temporarily joined Miyagi-Dos) were unsure how to beat the dojo that notoriously strikes first. The Cobra Kai karate teacher's answer might not have made much sense, but it was inspirational nonetheless.
"Hey, It's Just A Match. Don't Let It Eat You Up, Trust Me."
This quote from Johnny in Cobra Kai season 4 shows how much he has grown throughout the series. In season 1, he was still full of rage over his loss to Daniel at the All-Valley Tournament back in The Karate Kid. His feelings over this had caused his life to continue on a downward trajectory until he finally found a way to pull himself back up. When he saw Robby lose his own All-Valley match, he had the wisdom to tell him that a loss is nothing to get caught up in.
"I Want To Be A Father To You, I Really Do. I Try To Protect You. I Try To Be There For You."
Johnny never had a great father figure in his life. His stepdad had never shown him any genuine kindness, and John Kreese's affection depended on Johnny's karate performance. This meant that when the Cobra Kai student grew up and had his own son, he had no idea where to start. Unfortunately, he didn't always give it the effort his son deserved. However, this quote from Cobra Kai season 4 proves it's not over for Johnny and Robby.
"I’ll Shove That Surfboard So Far Up You’re A** Your Friends Will Be Surfing You."
As far as Johnny has come in Cobra Kai, it was good to see that he still could pick a fight. When he and Robby traveled to Mexico to hunt down Miguel in season 5, they came across a group of surfers (who had stolen Miguel's bag shortly before). When they were less than cooperative, Johnny took matters into his own hands. After several threats, he proved that his bite was far worse than his bark.
"We Need 4,000 Pesos, That’s Like A Million Dollars."
Though heroes in movies and TV are often seen to be among the cleverest of characters, this isn't true for Johnny. He's far from stupid—he just isn't knowledgeable about things outside his world. This means understanding the exchange rate of Mexican and US money wasn't his top priority. This is all part of what makes Johnny's character so great. He is ignorant but puts in the effort where it really counts.